Weddings are full of etiquette questions, such as who pays for what and what information to include on your invitations. While there is definitely some wiggle room on some traditions and issues, there are definitely some breaches of etiquette you’ll want to avoid. That’s why we put together this handy list of the top wedding etiquette don’ts to help you get through the planning process with a little less stress.
Don’t rush to post that ring selfie
Getting engaged is a big moment, but it’s one your family and friends deserve to learn about from you, not on social media. If it helps, make a list of everyone you want to tell the big news and make sure you contact all those people personally before posting an Instagram or Facebook photo of your new ring.
Don’t include registry info on your invitations
Your wedding invitations are an opportunity to let the people you love know that you want them to celebrate your marriage with you. They are not a chance to ask people for gifts. You can still get the word out about where you’re registered by asking close friends and family members to pass the info along, as well as by posting it on your wedding website. It’s definitely not a faux-pas to include a link to your wedding website on your save the date cards or invitations, and that’s the best way to let people know where you’ve registered.
Don’t invite someone to wedding events and not the wedding itself
Pre-wedding events like your bridal shower and bachelorette party will likely have a much smaller guest list, so anyone who is invited to those events should also be invited to your wedding. Inviting someone only to your shower can be hurtful because it suggests that you want them to give you a gift but not truly be a part of your big day. The only exception to this rule is office bridal showers—you don’t have to invite everyone you work with to your wedding.
Don’t forget to take care of your wedding party
Yes, being a part of someone’s wedding is an honor, but it’s also a huge expense. Your friends and family who are in your wedding party will likely have to travel, often more than once, as well as purchase gifts, clothes, shoes, and accessories. So be sure to show your appreciation with a thoughtful gift for each member of your wedding party, and even pay for some of their expenses, like makeup and hair, if you can.
Don’t make your guests pay for drinks
Open bars can be expensive and may be out of your price range, but charging guests for drinks when they’re already spending money to travel to your wedding and buy you a gift is a big don’t. There are plenty of ways to cut cost on alcohol, whether by skipping hard liquor, serving signature cocktails, or sticking to a few drinks that fit with your wedding theme. And don’t forget to have some non-alcoholic bar options for your guests who don’t drink!
Don’t leave your vendors hungry
Your wedding day wouldn’t happen without your vendors, so don’t forget to feed them! When you’re counting up the number of attendees for your caterer, be sure to include your photographer, wedding planner, videographer, DJ, and any other vendors that are part of your wedding day.
Don’t take too long to send thank you notes
The sooner you send out thank you notes to the people who you were kind enough to give you gifts, the better. The longer you wait, the harder it is to keep track of who gave you what—and the more your guests will feel unappreciated. To keep organized, write a list of each gift and who gave it and then cross off each one after you’ve written and sent a thank you card. You can space out your card writing over several weeks, allowing you to get your thank you cards out in a timely manner and still avoid hand cramps.